Pay Attention to Who Matters When ~ Carla Pollard

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” Philippians 2:3 (NIV).

Sitting in our favorite breakfast café, our conversation hit a lull so I seized the opportunity and reached for my Smartphone. While my husband momentarily focused on his pancakes I focused on my social media. I was anxious to scroll through the posts of each new participant in my Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study small Facebook group. The group was firing up for a new study and I was anxious to get to know every one of them.

Pay Attention to Who Matters When

smartphone

Engrossed in the posts I barely heard my husband sigh as he looked up from his meal. My eyes glanced his way and I caught the brief but penetrating look of discouragement on his face.

I did it again.

My pursuits took precedent over my present person.

The #selfies of online sisters became a sore spot between me and my spouse.

I forgot who I was with in my #selfie-ish ambition to be the best, most present small group leader.

I forgot my husband.

I forgot he wanted, needed and deserved my attention.

At that moment I realized I valued #myselfie above my most important human relationship. I knew this was not God’s way.

Couple-in-Dining-RoomSheepishly, I turned off the posts and slipped the phone back in my purse. I leaned forward, focused my eyes in his, and whispered, “I’m sorry … I see you and now I’m with you.”

Isn’t that what we reach out for through relationships and social media?

That someone sees us and is with us?

Isn’t that what Jesus whispers to us?

And isn’t that how Jesus wants us to treat each other?

In that momentary look of discouragement on my husband’s face I learned God wants me to lay aside my ambition pursuits and pay attention to those present with me. When we see those with us and we are present with them we show them they matter to us and to God. We allow them to experience what it’s like to be valued and heard. We build those in-roads to hearts and minds that Christ died to redeem. Through our esteem of others God reveals His grace to us.

I love being present with my husband. Breakfast at our favorite café is now our time to reconnect in the midst of our busy lives.                                                                                                      couple

And, when time allows, I love paying attention to my online sisters.

Because, whether in the flesh or through social media, God placed you all in my life for me to love and value in His name.

7 Comments

  1. Waving at you, Carla! What an honor to connect with you today on #livefreeThursday. You just made my whole day. : ) And the message? Yes ma’am. It’s powerful.

  2. Carla, so great to see a Compel & P31 OBS sister at #livefree. Thanks for the inspiration today. Have a great one! Kim Stewart

  3. Carla what an excellent example to be present where we are right then. And I bet you are an incredible small group leader 🙂

  4. Carla your words tugged at my heart because I recognize them only too well. I have seen that look in my husband’s face and given the same apology. It is so easy to get consumed and think “I’ll just have a quick look.” However, that quick look takes us to a quick look at something else, which leads us to another page and another post.
    Thank you for the reminder to look at my husband before my phone 🙂 #LiveFreeThursday

    1. That’s exactly how it happens, isn’t it? “Just a quick look … ” and then so much time has ticked away. God has placed present people in our lives we need to be present with. Blessings, Sarah, and thanks for you comment.

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